Attack mode

Well getting ready for my court date on the 22 of Dec. it is crazy that I have to go there to fight for my rights. it is crazy that I have to fight to try and have a relationship with a child whos motehr has prevented me from knowing. Now waht is real crazy is that the mother convinced my daughter to fight me instead of trying to make a relationship between us. I never ran away from nothing that is the thing. I have to go into protection mode becuase they are going after me to destry me.. I did not do anything wrong. I love my children, I hate the fact that I have to do this, but I have to so I cna protect the ones that do love me.

A Daughter I never knew

Today I kind of feel bad becuase I am between a rock and a hard place. I found out this time last year that I have a daughter who is 20 years old. I was with her mother 20 years ago one time, and did not remeber who she was. I took blood test and it was 100% mine. I never disputed this fact, the blood test had to be done for leagal reasons. Now Since the mother had never told me that I had a daughter, she has placed in my daughters mind that I am not a good person, and has been trying to take me to court for 20 years of Child support. I have been going to court for this whole year and the courts have been throwing the case out. in the begining I want to have a relationship with my daughter, but seems like it is impossible becuase of the mother. My daughter is a grown woman and I never new her. and seems like she does not wish to know me. I have to except that and move on. The mother is still trying to get me for child support, I figure she is going to try and find away. I am so angry because I never had the opportunity to know my daughter, becuase the mother never told me, but she is mad at me becuase of her fault. DAMN!! I am so mad becuase I can not find away to have my daughter in my life. Ahhh Sorry I just had to write this personal business.

what to do

Well these days will be over soon. I have to figure out if I am going to take a December trip to Tokyo or not I have to go there to see this investor. Seems like I am tied down to this world cause I have so much to do. I have to get more motivated I think becuase I think I am not putting in any effort in moving this project forward. I cna not just sit on this film, I have spent about $60, 000 dollars on it so far and oncee it is done I know I cna get a distribution deal becuase of the content. Anyway I have to move forward that is for sure.

Cold Weather.

I hate the cold weather, I cna not wait until summer comes. I guess that I was made for the hot weather becuase I cna sit out in the sun allday with out getting burned becuse I am dark enough I dont think I can get any darker. The Cold, I dont think it likes me because when I feel it my skin tells me to find heat quick and stay warm. Yeah the winter for me is not a joy. Skiing, Ice skatting, not for me at all. Sub zero tempritures are for those who enjoy the pain of winter.

What a Day Makes.

Well I am back at this again I hope that I can make it through another tough day. I have been working on the esiting of this film and have been up day and night making sure that everything looks good for the investors that I am talking ot. I hope to get some word on my invetment in this film project. if that happens then its on. I can get over there to Japan. That is my ultimate goal I can say. Anyway I hope that this happens in April or May.

Pepsi Cola War.

I have to stop drinking pepsi, I am a expirt on the difrence between Pepsi and Coke. I hate coke, but you can not fool me when it comes down to taiste. I can hit it everytime I go to one of them taiste test things. I will be the first to run there to put my self through the test. Pepsi should pay me for the stuff I do for them and How I promote the product for the.

My kids are in charge not me.

I sit here looking at my kids all concintraiting on looking at a horror film on TV. I try to get them to not look at at TV but it is allways so distressfull for them, well more for my son. I have to allmost call the police to get him from infront of the TV. Yeah I remeber that I was that way also. I did not understand until I got older and had my own kids. My father told me he said that "My curse for you is to have your own kids to see what I am talking about." Well I got my own kids and I see what the hell he was talking about. it is a battle, sometimes I give into them. I have to just not pay for cable TV and I would be ok.. Wait aminute, my show is coming on soon , I have to finish this blog and run upstaires in my room and look at it, oh it is allmost time, bye.